kristin has been a bad kristin
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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