OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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