mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize