have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize