If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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