Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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