Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
