and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize