fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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