You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
