yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
it glows. i had to have it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
