Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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