Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
