i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
