I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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