I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
