He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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