Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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