I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
