And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
