What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
