I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
