Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
