i think my tv is drunk
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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