yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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