shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize