I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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