i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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