i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
