I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize