The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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