is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Don't make out with my wife yet
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
