drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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