just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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