so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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