you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
