NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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