how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize