she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
