Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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