That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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