And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
