I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.