I'm really into asian looking animals
Is that why you're texting me
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days