There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.