so that wasnt chicken after all
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm not coming to work today because tequila