Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
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Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1