she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
