you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I intend to get homeless drunk
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
