yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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