the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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