i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
