so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
