I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
