I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize