my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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