We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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