is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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