I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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