I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
