You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
