My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
