Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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