Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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