called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
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You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
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If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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