Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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