babies were throwing up all over the place
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
